2. Can you recommend a rabbi in my vicinity to officiate at an intermarriage?

Finding a rabbi who meets your needs is a task that is best left up to you. As a matter of policy the Rabbinic Center does not recommend individual rabbis on the List of C.C.A.R. and R.R.A. Rabbis Who Officiate at Intermarriages. In any case it would be highly unlikely that any single rabbi would be available on the date you selected, participate in the kind of service you have in mind and be someone you could feel comfortable with and relate to.

The best way for you to proceed is to get a copy of The List and then, in the absence of any other knowledge about the rabbis, select the one who is closest to you and who, in accordance with the conditions next to his name, willing to officiate at the kind of ceremony that you want. When you make your initial phone call, ask the rabbi if he is available on the date you have set for your wedding and make sure that he is willing to officiate under the circumstances you and your future mate have agreed upon. Tell the rabbi what your plans are for the religious upbringing of children. If that part goes well, then set up a premarital conference so that you can meet with him/her personally. If you are comfortable with the rabbi, you have found your officiant. If you’re not comfortable, please call another rabbi. For the most part couples are satisfied with the first rabbi they meet.

One of the problems in finding a rabbi to officiate at an intermarriage is that you may not be able to locate one in your immediate vicinity and that the rabbi will have to travel a considerable distance in order to officiate at your wedding. The closer a rabbi is to where the ceremony will take place, the less you will have to pay for rabbinic services. In some areas like Philadelphia, St. Louis and Miami, you will find many rabbis who officiate. In other areas like upstate New York, Colorado or Hawaii, you will find just one or two rabbis on The List.

Please feel free to click here to email any questions you might have regarding marriages between Jews and non-Jews.  Rabbi Fishbein will personally answer all email on a regular basis.

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